Psalm 52: 8 “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the House of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love forever and ever.”
Trust and let go. These are two of the most difficult tasks for me. I am a control freak. I like people to make the “right” choices (as all good pals do, right!?). But when I notice they are leaning into making a bad decision, I panic. I try and enforce what I want them to do and how I want them to act and often give a good dose of “tough love.” Sometimes they listen, sometimes they don’t. And a lot of times, I’m actually wrong (shocker)!
This happens mostly with my best friend and boyfriend. Even if it’s a simple thing, like hanging out with someone I don’t like very much, I freak out and try and persuade them to do otherwise but usually, I come across like a controlling, scatter-brained mom. I lose sleep over the bigger things in their lives. Are they okay? Are they doing this right? Can I still trust them?
Even when it doesn’t come to people, I always want to be in control. God’s funny, though. When he wants to break a bad habit in your spirit He often throws exactly what you need to change at you. So many times God will throw opportunities for me to be controlling and I have to choose to step back or come in throwing daggers.
It even turns out that readily giving some advice is a form of control that I need to change! My advice may not be the best if it is thought too quickly or it may not be wanted. You have to let people step back and make their own choices and decisions first. If you have warned the one you love and they still want to keep going, ok. But if you can’t give them the ability to pick first, how can you ever really understand what it means to love someone without that trust?
As the lovely Christine Caine says, “A healthy approach to relationships is to love others enough to let them make their own choices instead of succumbing to your need to control and insisting on your own choices.” You have to trust that God will be with you and that person no matter what choice the person makes and what impact it has on you.
When you lean into God and learn who He is, you learn to relax and let go of control since He has control of everything. You will find the peace, understanding, and trust you were trying to find by pulling the puppet strings. Trust God. Trust others to God. And let go and let go again.