Oh, wedding planning… It is truly one of the weirdest, most fun, and most emotional things I have ever done in my life. Although we still have a little over four months to go, the past six months have been filled with Pinterest, Saturday meetings, and worrying about the things that don’t really matter that much. I was lucky to have some minor event planning experience before this and I’m not sure how people who have never worked with a vendor before pull it off. When I asked you all on Instagram if you would even be interested in a post like this, I wasn’t sure what direction I should really take. I decided that I am deep enough in my engagement to possibly give some sound advice, as I can already feel how much my perspective has shifted in just 6 short months. So whether you’re planning a wedding, in a wedding, or just curious… let’s help each other remember what’s really all about.
Step One: Be a List Person
If you’ve already started planning your wedding or you’ve planned one before, this won’t come as a surprise to you. The only way for me to not get overwhelmed in the beginning was to become a list person. Although I used both The Knot, Wedding Wire, and various Pinterest “wedding checklists” I found… I spent the majority of the first month just organizing how I was going to tackle each bit of the wedding process. I bought some list of sticky notes and placed one on each month of my planner. I wrote down what the 6-10 tasks I was going to tackle each month were and I was able to breathe a little bit easier. It’s so much easier to see 10 to-dos than a hundred.
For example, in February I had a few things on my to-do:
- Find a dress!
- Find a florist!
- Lock in a caterer.
- Ask officiant.
- Ask bridesmaids.
- Ask flower girls and ring bearer.
That doesn’t seem too overwhelming when you know you have an entire month to get all of that done. As time goes on, the tasks get a little more simple and less overbearing. Now, this is the only time I’ll say this, but when it comes to the tedious side of wedding planning, DON’T look at the big picture. Take it day-by-day. Don’t get caught up in every little element but tackle one task at a time.
Step Two: Revoke Perfection
Hi, my name is Brianna and I am a chronic perfectionist. Never have I realized how unhealthy this trait can be then when it came to planning my wedding. During the past 6 months, I have nitpicked every last inch of my body and been so absolutely horrific and mean to myself. I have had to literally write “be kind to yourself” on every surface I look at because it has just gone beyond bad.
I had this image in my head that when I got married, I would look like a Victoria’s Secret model (yeah, I’m crazy I know). I kind of forgot the fact that their diet is insane and they work out three times a day… something no regular human has the time nor the patience for. In the past year or two, I’ve recently grown into my “womanly figure” (ew) and with that came some weight gain and some major confidence loss. My face had horrible acne… my hair was thinning… I was a mess. And then I got engaged. My acne cleared for the first time in my adult life. I got extensions and doubled the thickness of my hair. But… the weight stayed.
I dwelled (and still dwell sometimes) on this constantly. I was heavier than I had ever been and I was heartbroken. But then one day as I was standing in the mirror, I remembered my 19-year-old self wishing she looked a little curvier and more like a woman than a girl. And here I was… looking more like a woman but with a whole lot more dimples on my thighs. So, I got my wish and that still wasn’t enough!? Heck. No. I decided I wasn’t going to spend the entirety of my engagement crying about the bad things and I chose to embrace the things I loved. So basically… when it comes to wedding planning, quite sweating every detail about the way you look. Revoke perfection because it only exists in Hollywood (with beauty teams and plastic surgery and an obsession of working out).
Step Three: Forget the “Dream Day” and Remember the “Dream Guy”
This kind of plays into step two. As girls, we dream practically our whole lives of what our wedding would look like, what kind of ring we would want, what kind of wedding dress, etc. We dream of our husbands too, but let’s be real, they were usually celebrities (Zac Efron, anyone?). Just like I got caught up in the way I looked, I got caught up in the way my wedding was going to be and completely forgot about the amazing man I get to spend in my life with.
Here’s the thing, it doesn’t matter what my wedding day looks like or how pretty I’ll look in pictures. Because in five years, when this is all far gone, I will be married to my best friend and the most amazing human to ever exist. So while you’re wedding planning, remember the guy you love. Remember why you said “yes” when he got on one knee and why you’ll say “yes” every day for the rest of your life to loving him.
Step Four: Breathe
Surprise!! Unless you’re the most chill person in the world, wedding planning is stressful. Although it’s important to remind yourself of everything I just told you, you can’t really do any of that until you learn to relax and breathe. Do the things that give you peace and bring yourself back to your center. Take a bath while watching a funny movie, read your Bible, read a good book, go on a walk, and just… breathe. This is one small moment in your life and believe me, it’s flying by. Don’t forget to enjoy it.